Tuesday, April 21, 2009

SALVADOR CRESTA

salvador cresta lives with his parents in argentina and makes strange music in spanish. i wrote him an e-mail telling him that i liked his music and he wrote back very quickly and saying very nice things back to me. here are some videos he has made.

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A SURREAL INTRODUCTION TO MYSELF

video


A SIMPLE AND ORDINARY INTRODUCTION TO MYSELF

video

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if you would like to listen to salvadro cresta and his music, you may do so by following this link:

Monday, April 20, 2009

\\\\\

cleaning out my inbox and i found a remix my friend bradon horniachek did of my song "fox in the sand." it is almost completely unrecognizable and so far from most of the things that i would be interested in, but for some strange reason, i really really like it.

-- fox in the sand (remix) --

here is an interview for GUSTAV magazine.

i wonder how many people follow my 'music career' also follow my 'writing career'. i also wonder how many people follow my 'sleeping in bushes under people's window who i wish to see naked' career. i wonder if statcounter can tell me that.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

AMERICAN INDIAN STORIES: PT. 1

The tiny young indian girl stood beneath the feet of a man swaying in the branches by his long golden hair. There was ash in his mouth and three daggers in his heart. His belly was peppered with arrows and the arrows dripped wine from the feathers. Nearby a mule was grazing with a silver bit in its mouth. The tiny young indian girl kneeled and ran clumps of earth between her hands. She climbed up to the man with long golden hair and studied his face sadly and said, "As the new wine is found in the cluster..." Then she spit into her dirty hands and slowly rubbed the clay into his swollen face. She filled her fists and rained down crushed leaves over his face and neck. Then she pasted tiny pieces of bark around his nose, eyes, and mouth. She gathered twigs, grass, and leaves and weaved a nest from them into his thick golden hair. With her finger she swept out all of the ash from his tongue and placed two robin's eggs inside his mouth. She put tiny young pinecones in his ears and sang quietly to him while she worked. When she was finished, the man with long golden hair opened his eyes white in the dark mud. Hello, he said, may I please go home today please?

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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT by sam pink

this book is very funny and sad. you can buy it here. it is funny and sad.

i was first introduced to a lot of internet writers through sam pink's blog. i think i read his version of 'night owl' and felt moved, or something. i liked one part where he points at someone's face and said 'i hate you' as they are walking by in the street. still to this day, this is my favorite piece of writing on the internet.

when i first started to read sam pink i was very sad. this was a result of a number of things occurring in my life at the time. i felt unstable and unsuccessful and dumb. reading sam pink made me feel less this way and like it was okay to feel like that.

i wrote about sam pink's last chapbook, yum yum i can't wait to die, and i feel i have noticed many changes in his writing style. i feel like IAGTCMTKTCAEI has moved forward in many ways from YYICWTD. YYICWTD is funnier to me, like tsuanmi/natural disaster funny. IAGTCMTKTCAEI is a lot darker and in some ways not as funny. i feel like in YYICWTD, sam pink discovered fire and then somehow in IAGTCMTKTCAEI, he discovered the atom bomb.

in this book there are times when a word punches you in the mouth and you try to smile but your mouth fills with blood so you kind of have to grin and look like an asshole. i like how i have no control over that. i especially liked one line about putting tiny bombs between someone's teeth. my favorite is one line about planting crayons in the ground and watching pillars of light spring up. or about feeling like a condom stuck in someone's asshole. i think it is a 'toss up' between the two.

in any case, this is a very good book. when i read it in public i always feel tempted to slip it under someone's ass as they are eating a scone and pretend like they can't see me. or i feel this could be a good gift to give to your dying grandfather, like you could say 'listen man, it's okay i think' and then he would cough violently and you could just tighten your lips and nod and walk backwards out of the room, closing the door.

Monday, April 13, 2009

interview with ryan manning

6:47 PM me: karlheinz stockhausen
6:48 PM ryan: tristan tzara
me: jonathan meese
6:49 PM ryan: laurence sterne
me: antonio banderas
6:50 PM ryan: emilio estevez
me: andy dick
6:51 PM ryan: gottfried helnwein
6:52 PM me: sinead o'connor
ryan: jack black
me: +++++++++++++++++
6:53 PM peanut butter
6:55 PM me: ketchup
ryan: salsa
me: seltzer
ryan: tango
6:56 PM me: tangerine
ryan: helium
me: helio
ryan: fidelio
6:58 PM me: rogelio frigerio
ryan: roger dodger
me: rodger podger
6:59 PM ryan: hodgepodge
me: helterskelter
ryan: sharon tate
7:01 PM me: mary jo buttafuoco
ryan: tonya harding
7:02 PM me: lorena bobbit
ryan: jessica rabbit
7:05 PM me: ++++++++++++
why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free
ryan: dov charney
7:07 PM me: the early bird catches the worm
7:08 PM ryan: feel the pride of being her lover
7:09 PM me: scarlett johansson
ryan: spike jonze
7:10 PM me: dwight d. eisenhower
dwight d. eisenhower
dwight d. eisenhower
dwight d. eisenhower
dwight d. eisenhower
dwight d. eisenhower
dwight d. eisenhower
ryan: johnny knoxville
7:12 PM johnny cash
ryan: that's all she wrote
7:15 PM me: ryan manning
ryan: rip torn
7:16 PM me: russell crowe
ryan: gary sinise
me: gary busey
ryan: ricky gervais
7:17 PM me: ricky martin
ryan: traci lords
7:19 PM me: tracy marrow
ryan: rob morrow
me: rob thomas
7:21 PM ryan: paola ochoa
7:22 PM me: paulo coelho
7:23 PM ryan: phil jackson
me: phillip seymour hoffman
ryan: philip roth
7:24 PM me: eli roth
ryan: elie wiesel
7:25 PM me: elliott smith
7:26 PM ryan: i think i'm done

LIGHT BOXES by shane jones

this is a very good book. you can buy it here. it is very good.

after i finished reading this book i quietly set it down on the table and looked at it and thought about placing the book inside an old cigar box and wrapping the cigar box in brown paper and then burying the wrapped up cigar box under an abadoned brick home outside of town.

no, no, no.
that doesn't make sense.

i am going to try very hard to say concrete and good things about this book.

i am not sure how to do this because the book is not very concrete or real by itself. it is very strange and absurd and sleepy and wild.

there is a scene where people are sitting on a tree and throwing apples through clouds.

i actually don't even remember if that was in the book or not. i think maybe i dreamt that. i am not sure. the entire book felt like a dream. it is highly likely that i only dreamt this book and that shane jones placed q-tips fashioned into high voltage radio transmitters in my ears while i was sleeping, thus plagirising the entire book.

but i can't say for sure.

there is another scene where someone puts their face inside of a dead horse and sees an entire little city playing out in the horse's insides and the people are sleeping in hammocks tied up to the horses ribs. i think that was probably my favorite scene. and also i think the scene where they invent the light boxes and how happy everyone was to try it on and how it smelled like burned leaves.

i felt a little bit like crying.

i felt a little sick too, and my stomach hurt.

i think it was also because it read like red syrup and i had to pace myself. so it took me like two weeks to finish the book.

so i think maybe i will say that the book was kind of like the time after my sixth birthday party when i ate an entire bucket of candy and woke up in the middle of the night and threw up green on my pillow and then just flipped over the pillow and went back to sleep.

it was kind of like that.


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

YOUNG AUTHORS OF HILLRISE ELEMENTARY 1991-92

THE HORSE
by kelsey thompson
first grade

once upon a time, long, long ago, there was a horse that ate hay...and dirt but he couldn't eat dirt because he would throw up so he just ate hay.


SOLDIER
by derek blue

fights, Brave
fighting, killing, shooting,
it is really hard
Marine


EMILY THE ELEPHANT
by sheena o'kane
first grade

emily the elephant likes when people ride her. she likes when she gets fed and she likes when people entertain her. she likes to eat peanuts for meal. she likes to play with other elephants. she likes to play hide and go seek. she usually hides behind a tree and pretends to be a statue and in the morning she likes to take a shower.


THE DAY THE PIZZA CAME ALIVE
by gerrad moore
second grade

one day the pizza came alive and tried to eat me up, but he invited more pizza and they just about caught me, but i got away. i stopped running and i said, "they'll never catch me! -- well what do you know--- they did!"
"yummers," the pizza said.


THE RABBIT
by tai zuckweiler

far away in a snow white forest there lived a young, white, long eared rabbit. he lived in a fallen down tree. the rabbit didn't like other rabbits. he didn't have any friends. one day, he saw something shining it was so bright it looked like the sun shining on water. he went to see what it was. when he got close he put his head into it and it spoke to him. it told to go find a rabbit and iw would like him. so he did and they were friends for a long, long, very long time.


THE DEER WENT TO THE FOREST
by chris taulborg
first grade

one day the deer went in to the forest. then he saw a tiger. then the deer ran off far away back in to the forest. then when he stoped he was home.


THE ADVENTURE THAT WILLIAM HAD
by alex clark
first grade

once there was a boy. his name was william and he loved natural things. he did not obey his dad. one day he was walking in the woods. suddenly he fell into the creek. the end.


RACCOON
by josh c.
first grade

in the soft white winter snow, a raccoon sleeps in a willow. they sleep in the winter and gather in the summer. if we did not have them, then it would be a bummer.

i like raccoons!

EDITOR'S NOTE: i have it on high authority that josh c. was actually a real serious asshole and he used to beat up kid's in the playground. seriously. his mom probably wrote this for him or something. this is bullshit. in the soft white winter snow? give me a break. this kid did not have a right arm probably.


CORKY'S SEAL'S CIRCUS
by rachael sturgeon
first grade

i met corky at the circus. he is fun to play with. he is fun to go away with. he is my friend. oh did i forget that he is nice? now you wish that you could be a seal!


WAR
by erin kirby
third grade

the guns were loud
and the drummer boys were proud
the losers had to pay a fine
the bad guys lost and the earth
was fine!


THE BIG MOON
by megan carrick
fourth grade

once upon a time there was a man who loved to eat big, fat, plump, marshmallows. he always ordered people to make him marshmallows. on night he ordered some people to make him a big, fat, plump marshmallow. so all the people made him a big, fat, plump marshmallow. but the people were getting the ingrients he had some marshmallow spice that mde it even bigger then it what it's supposed to be. when the marshmallow was cooking, the oven exploded! it turned out that the marshmallow was so big that it stayed there for ever!


THE DAY I WON A TROPHY
by david peek
fourth grade

i was getting ready for a race that the school was having. i said to myself "i hope i win,' and i thought i was going to win. but then i remembered i was not the only fast kid. the problem was matt harm is faster than me. so, i stayed calm. i tried not to think of him, but he was still in my head. so, later on, i wished him good luck!!!!! we got in our places and the starter shot the gun. first, matt was ahead, then i was ahead. it kept going like that, and finally i got ahead of him and won the race! he said to me, "good job," and i said "thanks." still pals, still pals! the end.


THE GIANT AND THE BIRD
by amanda chaney
second grade

once upon a time there was a giant named jon. he lived in a huge castle by the forest. a little bird named cuckoo lived in a tree next to the castle. one morning the giant woke up. he was hungry. his tummy was growling pretty bad. "i must eat a bird!" then he heard singing. he looked outside. there was a bird sitting in a tree outside the giant's window. "I must eat you!" "Oh, oh, please don't eat me!" "Then you must do something for me. I must have it back in two days." "I promise i will have it back in two days." so the giant went to bed. two days went by. the giant woke up. he went outside. "i brought you a harp," said the bird.
the giant and the bird went under a tree playing the harp. and from then on they were the best of friends.


THE PRINCESS WHO LOVED TO SING
by kimberly hightower
second grade

once upon a time there lived a princess who loved to sing. she lived in a little cottage in the meadow with a frog named Bip and a flower named Roa who could talk. nearby in the forest lived a witch who did not like to hear the princess sing. the people in the town loved to hear her sing. the princess would sit on a swing and sing and sing. the witch wanted to take her voice, so she made a potion to take her voice.

one night the witch crept into the cottage and put the potion in the princess' mouth and left quickly. the next morning the princess could not sing and that day everyone was so down and blue because there was no cheerful singing. that day the princess's voice sounded like a frog was in her throat. that night the witch was laughing because she finally had the princess's voice! then thunder crashed- lightning hit the witch's house. the witch died. and the case that held the princess's voice in it broke! and the princess got her voice back! the princess and the people in the town lived happily ever after. the end.


SCHROEDERS
by catherine jackson
fourth grade

schroeder's are good friends. kathy is great at singing, very nice and pretty. she is going to be a family counsiler. she will graduate in december. rory is a plumber, funny and is nice. nick is in 11th grade and is drawing and has lots of fish tanks. laura is my best friend. she's in 9th grade. she wants to be a nurse when she gets older. the schroeder's live on a farm. that's where we got our cats. their cat barley is 14 years old. douchas is their dog he has had puppies one time. their animals are 1 dog 4 cats 1 horse and tons of fish.

Friday, April 3, 2009

interview with josh kleinberg

me:



josh kleinberg:

http://00oo0.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

robert parkeharrison

here are some photographs from robert parkeharrison's book 'the architect's brother'. i feel like there is a story for each one.








i want to interview someone

it doesn't matter who you are.

i want to interview you.

if you are interested in being interviewed, you should know that the interview will probably not look like an interview.

if the interview were a baby, it would probably look like a stained mattress leaning on a utility pole on the corner bent over and resembling an old man putting on his shoes in the morning but not really knowing why.

if you are still interested please leave a comment or contact me at israel.cilio@gmail.com

only serious inquiries please.