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the rain has been blowing me in and out of towns.


when i lay down i feel that i am being shaken.

my entire head is collapsing into my skull. i feel light-headed often. sometimes i feel dizzy. my scalp flakes onto my shirt. i pretend that i am in a sno-globe and shake my hair from a second story window.

when i lay down i always dream of laying face up in a field of snow.

my father once told me that when the it rains on a sunny day it is because the devil and his wife are being married.

i have recently acquired a straw hat. i feel maybe it will help me stand on corners and not have to look people in the eye. that would be 'okay'.


i think i may have found an apartment in lincoln. i don't know.



yesterday i played with a baby in a kiddie pool.

she suddenly stopped playing and began to stare at my face. her eyes turned red and then started pooping.

i came close to her and snowed flakes onto her head.

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my girlfriend wants to buy you my cd.

i feel embarrassed.



i am in dallas and the house smells like cat piss.



i have been experiencing many doubts lately.


can i make art that matters and that celebrates everything?


is it possible to fulfill a 'crushing artistic vision' and survive?


will i ever feel 'completely legit'



i feel like a little boy walking up a hill with arms full of snow.

PORTLAND/OLYMPIA

some of the people from gandhara are in a band called The Lickets. they are playing in portland and olympia and i can promise you an amazing time. honestly some of the most challenging and beautiful modern folk i have heard.

Saturday: Portland and Sunday: Olympia

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Time: 18:14

Portland and Olympia, US

First show in Portland, Oregon at the Ella St Social Club, former Towne Lounge space, on Saturday, June 20th and then Sunday the 21st we will be in Olympia, Washington (first time ever playing here too) for the Olympia Experimental Music Festival. Also, Two short films are being screened at the film portion of the festival on Sunday that IC made: videos for The Lickets and Mary St John.

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i am visiting my brother in chattanooga. on the way here i drove through the worst thunderstorm of my young adult life. it cleared up a little but things got bonkers when a trailer truck swerved and flipped. it looked like a giant bull falling into the ditch and splashing a wave of mud. i pulled over and ran across the highway. i was very afraid that the truck would explode. a woman from anther car was hysterical and kept yelling that the driver was not getting out. we approached the truck and i saw the engine block smashed open and oil and blood pouring out. some other guys stopped and we opened the truck door. a little boy came out and he had blood on his arms but it did not look like it was his. i was very afraid and i did not want to see a dead body so i left. i went back to my car and drove away.

now i am alive and awake, watching a television show about amazing videos or something. my little sister is here too. she turned 13 yesterday. so far it has been pretty great. i have not seen my brother and sister together in a very long time. we went to the aquarium and i kept thinking about drowning. i keep having 'final thoughts' on life, like we're all going to die or something. i keep thinking, i should remember this or something, because soon we will all be dead and then we will not be able to do so.

not sure what to think now.

NEW COVER

BROTHERFATHER

father found brother crying behind the fence at school. father stopped slipped brother under the fence took him to the woods. brother father took shovels dug a long deep hole in the grass. brother dug up a marble, a car, a plastic bag. inside the pale white bag was a pale white cat. brother unrolled the cat in the grass studied it. father said they had to burn it now. father did not have matches. drove to the store bought a box of them. brother father came back set the plastic bag on fire. father threw the burning bag inside a trash can full of trash. the trash can caught on fire leapt high to the trees. father held brother's hand they watched the white smoke rising.

ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ

nowadays all i do is come home and read townes van zandt lyrics. here is one of my favorites.



Mr. Mudd & Mr. Gold

now here's what this story's told
you feel like mud, you end up gold
you feel like lost, you'll end up found.
so amigo, lay them raises down.

blake butler is putting on a short story contest at his blog. there is no entry fee and the winner gets a great load of out of print chapbooks, rare zines, self-published things, and a sundry of non-literary items (even a coupon to employ jereme dean as online mercenary if ever you run into trouble). i have submitted and i would suggest you do too.



hey look this is a link to a pitchfork article about a charity to fund save darfur and the world food program from the proceeds of a compilation cd in which i am featured.

you can listen to that song here: Mary



as i mentioned before, vega is coming out gandhara recordings. it looks like the release date will be june 21, the first day of summer. i have been working with mitch from gandhara on album art and he has been very patient and kind and understanding. also i remixed the entire album and even added a new song at the end. here is what the record will look like.




here are pictures of me and katie brewing beer.



i think wavves is terrible and i am a little glad this happened.