Thursday, April 24, 2008

A robot tries to give me a hand job. I refuse.

A she-robot keeps trying to give me hand jobs at night. I wake up and find out that this robot is touching my weiner. I can usually tell because my bed squeaks when I move. She always tries to be sneaky. So I say "Listen robot, you've got to realize that sex is a special thing between two consenting adults, okay?"

When I wake up in the morning, I go downstairs to make toast. Every morning the robot is laying on the counter with her robot vagina exposed, rubbing her vagina lips and asking me in an erotic monotone if I would like to fuck her wet pussy with my big fucking dick.

I say, "Listen robot, sex is a beautiful thing best experienced in either the boundaries of mutual respect or in a major hallucenogenic drug. I'm just not that into you. Okay?" And then I go to the fridge and pour myself some peach juice which comes in a tall phallic-shaped bottle. It holds 36 oz of juice. I call it my "Fruit 40" even though it isn't really a 40 oz. I laugh a little and leave the robot crying in the kitchen as a vibrator falls from her hands onto the floor.

I came home one night to find her being fucked in the ass by the pizza delivery boy while a circle of other pizza delivery boys jacked each other off in a circle jerk. When I closed the door, they all came in unison. I think it was because it was their first time coming. Their cum splashed onto the she-robot and the stud pizza boy whose weiner was suprisingly big. When the robot saw me, she started screaming really dirty things to make me jealous while the cum dripped from her mouth, hair, and face. I was on my cellular phone making a very important call to Japan so I don't remember what it was. I went upstairs to my room. I finished the phone call and played a computer game. I put on my big headphones.

A few hours later the robot came up.

"Sorry, if we were loud."
"What's that?" I said, taking off my headphones.
"I said, sorry if we were loud."
"...just now. Like...the past few hours when I was fucked by 12 pizza boys in the living room?" Then she kind of smirked. "Sorry."

"Oh it didn't bother me. I couldn't hear it. I had these big headphones on. But thank you for the gesture." I smiled politely.

Her face dropped and she looked at me like, How could you? She started crying but stopped because she didn't want to give me the dignity.

That night I went to sleep and I woke up to her trying to give me a hand job at night. I said "Now, now robot. Remember what I told you."

She said, "I know, I know...." Then she sighed a sigh that had a little bit of a cry in there.

Then she whispered, "See you tomorrow morning? Near the toaster?"

"Sure thing, robot. Sleep well."