jesus christ...

on monday i went to vote early with my father who is an ecuadorian immigrant born to a young widow with a poor family of 10. he came to america in 1985 and became an american citizen in 1996. for some reason or other he did not vote in any election until this on monday when i was with him. my father has been a social worker, a phlebotomist, a small business owner, a factory worker, a pastor, and a carpenter. he has worked very hard to help my brother and i get to and through college. on monday i voted with him to put a bi-cultural african-american leader in the white house.

i am very, very proud of my father and i am very proud of america and i am proud of people.

last night at work i was watching CNN on my laptop and i couldn't take it anymore. i was getting sick and i really felt like i was going to crap my pants. honestly. when he won i convinced my roommate to put off a paper and we drove to fayetteville yelping and squriming the whole way. we got to the democrat watch party just in time to see obama's acceptance speech. everyone was clapping and crying and dancing. we passed some people outside and they were making expressions that conveyed relief. then we yelled 'obama!' and we acted like animals and it was all royalty and luxury. no one spoke and everyone just felt. usually i make efforts not to speak with strangers sometimes. last night, i 'fist-bumped' a stranger in the bar bathroom and we yelled things like 'we're on our way!' and 'we made it!' i felt like something special was happening in that bar. there were people nearby and then a current came through us and we all yelled and clapped and hugged and we didn't know each other. we were hysterical. i got so drunk i can't even believe it. i went outside and threw up on a tree. i called all my friends and left them positive messages. i said 'hello' to a pretty girl at bar, something i never, ever, ever do. i kept buying drinks for my roommate. it was something connected and beautiful and i felt very much a part of it and i belonged.

last week i burned my hand with scalding water. now the skin is brown and peeling. i feel like i am peeling something back right now and there is something new beneath and it is man. i feel like we are a tiny, tiny bit closer to that paradigm shift we talk about. i feel like things are coming together for people, not politicians. i am overjoyed. i feel burdened with joy and tenderness and goodness. i feel burdened with humans.