things i saw today/i like sam pink

at the river today i swam beneath the waterfall and watched the all the foaming over my head. i saw something white and i grabbed it. it was a dead fish. it took a few tries to bring it ashore but when i did, i threw it at ky and it felt like something my brother would do. i squatted on the rocks and poked at the fish with a stick. i found little fish skeletons in its mouth. i pulled them out with a stick. his stomach was mushy because i guess dead fish throw up everything before they die. they give up their 'proto-lifeblood' and die. when i was finished with the fish i threw it into the bushes. a boy was walking by and i did not see him. the fish flew across his range of vision. i imagine it flew by his face and he became afraid. the fish hit a rock and bounced into the grass. when i saw it later, it looked like a huge eel coming from the earth. i thought about that ride home from fayetteville when i laid in the back seat and thought about cylinders coming through circular shapes.

***

i am afraid that i have nothing good to say. this is something important to look at. this means something. my face looks funny. i think this is an important thing to say. i have a difficult time writing things like i want them to be.

***

an old post of short plays by sam pink made me dry laugh in under 2. 5 seconds. i also wish i were depressed and violent or maybe some other concotion of neurons so that I could write something like this. the plays are both very funny and very sad, sometimes at the same time. i have a kind of life philosophy that is about choosing to laugh instead of crying and how that typifies the act of embracing absurdity over melodrama. i think maybe sam pink knows what i mean. like in this one:

IX.

The same room, later on.
Man: (offering bag of chips to Other Man) Want some chips man?
Other Man: (still looking at screen) One-Up bitch! What kind of chips are they?
Man: Doritos.
Other Man: Yeah, I’ll take some.
He takes the bag from his friend and eats a few. Then he wipes his hand on his leg.
Other Man: Man, the best part about having so much leg hair, is that it’s like having a little napkin with you all the time.
Man: Tomorrow I’m going to look for a job.

aside from this, i was very attracted to his calling these dialogues "plays" because there is so much goodness condensed into them. i am reading Too Loud A Solitude and have been very interested in the concept of compacting high concepts and/or real emotions into tiny, tiny things. i like sam pink. he reminds me of lewis carroll on an LSD picnic.

***
i am listening to sun ra and feeling like i am in the twilight zone.

***

i have talked about 'micro-novels' before. i don't know if it is a legit classification. i don't know if it has already been tried. i don't know if it has been tried the way i am trying it. i kind of don't want to know because then i would feel cheap and then one day if someone said i was doing it wrong, i could still claim ignorance.

***

i have an idea of documenting all my dreams here, unedited.