things i saw

i went to get the mail on sunday and then i didn't stop walking. i walked down to the park and i didn't know what to do with my hands. i folded them across my chest and then put them at my sides and then picked up a stick. i carried the stick for a little while and when i reached the park i threw the stick in the water.

at the park i went to the one-lane bridge and watched the ducks paddle up to me and dip their heads under the water. i watched one duck balance himself in the water so he could nibble at something under his wing. i laughed out loud and a man was behind me. a truck needed to pass on the bridge so i moved in closer to a duck eating grass. i thought it was bizarre. i began to sing a song. but i could only remember two lines from it. i couldn't remember which song it was either. the lines were 'why do you do that only/why are you so odd.' i sang these lines over and over. i crossed the bridge watched more ducks at the other side and looked at all the styrofoam cups in the water from the christmas parade we had last week. another car needed to cross the bridge so i moved out of the way. the person in the passenger seat said something to me as they passed. i don't remember what he said.

i crossed the street and began to walk up a hill. next to the street there was a ditch brimming with leaves like water. when i stepped into the leaves i sank down up to my knee. i walked on the embankment and kept sing the lines. 'why do you do that only/why are you so odd.' i still couldn't remember what song it was from. it was a sunny day and then i started singing 'the artist walks among the flowers/appreciating the sun' and then i remembered what song it was. it was 'story of an artist' by daniel johnston. i decided to walk in the grass instead of the street. i looked at the pretty houses and walked around them. the street was very quiet and i heard something scratching above me. it was a squirrel nibbling on an acorn loudly. i stood and watched it for some time. then i kept walking and a man was leaving a house and crossing the street and going to another house. we just missed each other and we pretended we didn't see each other. i walked by a big mansion that i always looked at down from the road. i had never been up here. the front gates were wide open and i thought about coming in but stood in the cul-de-sac and watched.

i went down these broken concrete steps with my hand on the rusted tubing that led down the hill. the walk was covered in leaves and the trees were all bare above me. i stood and watched two families taking their portraits in the park below me. i looked at them through the trees but i don't think they saw me. i went back up the stairs and ignored a barking dog. he was very interested in getting my attention and in letting me know he was going to sink himself into my throat. i kept walking.

i saw a tiny little house made of rocks. it looked just piled one on the other. there were windows in the rocks and there was a roof over the rocks. i looked inside and someone was getting a book. it looked like there was a lot of stuff inside the house. i kept walking. behind the house of rocks i saw a dog statue perched on its back legs with his paws hanging at his chest. he looked very real. there was squirrel the dog seemed to be looking at. the dog did not move. i found the house of a girl i used to know once in high school. it was bright bright pink and very small. i turned around and started walking back. the dog statue had moved and now had its paws on the ground but still staring straight ahead.

i kept walking and picked up another stick. the stick had a hole in it that looked exactly, exactly, like a vagina except without lips. this was when i started singing jeff buckley. it was the nina simone cover he does at the beginning of his live album. i kept time with my shoes walking on the asphalt and then slapped the stick on my thigh to mark the offbeat. i sang as many verses as i could remember. i was asking the stick to be kind to me. 'oh mama, love me good' i said. i found a father watching his son wash the car. the boy was spraying the car with water and the father was not talking and just watching. i passed them and watched a mother pulling a wagon with a girl in it. she was passing out bread to the neighbors. the little girl was singing. i found a dead possum on the road which i poked with a stick. later i forgot which end of the stick i had used to poke the possum. i did not throw the stick away. i looked into other houses and saw people doing things. one person was opening a cabinet.

i found an empty lot and laid down in the grass. i kept singing 'oh mama, love me good.' i watched a plane in the sky. i got up and looked down into a meadow. a family with a private drive owned it. they owned the whole block. the meadow had an entire playground in it. there was a built-in swimming pool and the house covered most of the meadow. i kept walking and sang 'if you want me to, i'll cook and sew.' i found a giant tree on the a giant property. the house was far away. i came to look at the tree. i wanted to touch it but there was someone sitting on the porch so i left. i came down the hill and started walking back to my house. my neighbor drove by and stopped to ask if i needed a ride. i was holding a vagina stick and a clump of leaves. i said 'no thanks, i am just walking.'