teenage tragedy #1
i am sitting with eddie and we are high. we are talking about how canadians say the letter Z. they say it 'zed'. eddie says they call the car the z-24, the zed-24.
i call kathy on the phone. i keep up a 10 minute bit on how i'm high/how i'm not high. every time i act sober she tells me that she really believed that I was high for a while. and then when i start giggling and i tell her that i am high and she totally believes again.
i come to points in my highness wherei am very aware of myself as stoned. the moments of clarity cut through the clouds of my thought. i remember to tell my future sober self to remember to look at the mirror shards of these moments of clarity and not worry about the small stuff.
it suddenly occurs to me that i am being very selfish with my high and thinking about silly things and laughing at them and not thinking about good things that will help me in the future. i think of devin and her boyfriend chris. chris would know what to do then, he would do things correctly. he would be spiritual and paint his face before the ceremony.
daniel calls me like 3 times and i don't answer. when i answer i pretend that i couldn't find my phone. he wants to play a song he wrote for me. i was worried someone died because he kept calling me so often.
eddie is playing metal that he thinks i will like. it sounds like complete shit. i hate this fucking cum-ridden cunt shit. i am not as mad as i may perceive to be.
daniel talks to me and shows me his song. then my friend emma calls and i forget about daniel. she is traveling around the country and i get a little sad because she is living active and leaving in the country in a month (please, jesus don't let her die) and i am just high with eddie in suburban bentonville. she tells me about her boyfriend and how they love each other and how they want to hitchhike together. i tell her that he is very lucky and i mean it. i am jealous of him, whoever he is, for conquering emma's beautiful heart. the phone call ends and i have hung up on daniel. he calls again and complains because i tell him we ran out of reception and i hadn't called him back immediately. he plays me his song and i listen to it and type this paragraph. i tell the song is good and i struggle to say something sensical. i tell him where i am and he says he will call me back later. i hope he doesn't.
I think that's why we're going to space so we can find a new place to inhabit.
My thought is a floating aborted baby carcass in a sewer draining into the deepest sea where the sludge touches to the bottom.
eddie's roommate tries to convince me that george bush was a good president. the whole night i'm he's trying to talk religion to me. he tells me about jesus and about the religious right and then subtley trying tries convince me of his position.
'abortion is just sick, i just can't stand it, that's just me. '
i tell him that i don't want to talk politics with him because I don't know him. He is quiet a little longer and then brings up something else that he liked about George Bush. I ignore him and play with the dog.
eddie always loses at things.
What would you do if your life you were invisible?
eddie's roommate talking about a Texas catheter. He says he would come on girl's faces if were invisible. He would give them white necklaces.
Death upon your family.
*****
Hasta la pasta. Furiously they slather.
i call kathy on the phone. i keep up a 10 minute bit on how i'm high/how i'm not high. every time i act sober she tells me that she really believed that I was high for a while. and then when i start giggling and i tell her that i am high and she totally believes again.
i come to points in my highness wherei am very aware of myself as stoned. the moments of clarity cut through the clouds of my thought. i remember to tell my future sober self to remember to look at the mirror shards of these moments of clarity and not worry about the small stuff.
it suddenly occurs to me that i am being very selfish with my high and thinking about silly things and laughing at them and not thinking about good things that will help me in the future. i think of devin and her boyfriend chris. chris would know what to do then, he would do things correctly. he would be spiritual and paint his face before the ceremony.
daniel calls me like 3 times and i don't answer. when i answer i pretend that i couldn't find my phone. he wants to play a song he wrote for me. i was worried someone died because he kept calling me so often.
eddie is playing metal that he thinks i will like. it sounds like complete shit. i hate this fucking cum-ridden cunt shit. i am not as mad as i may perceive to be.
daniel talks to me and shows me his song. then my friend emma calls and i forget about daniel. she is traveling around the country and i get a little sad because she is living active and leaving in the country in a month (please, jesus don't let her die) and i am just high with eddie in suburban bentonville. she tells me about her boyfriend and how they love each other and how they want to hitchhike together. i tell her that he is very lucky and i mean it. i am jealous of him, whoever he is, for conquering emma's beautiful heart. the phone call ends and i have hung up on daniel. he calls again and complains because i tell him we ran out of reception and i hadn't called him back immediately. he plays me his song and i listen to it and type this paragraph. i tell the song is good and i struggle to say something sensical. i tell him where i am and he says he will call me back later. i hope he doesn't.
I think that's why we're going to space so we can find a new place to inhabit.
My thought is a floating aborted baby carcass in a sewer draining into the deepest sea where the sludge touches to the bottom.
eddie's roommate tries to convince me that george bush was a good president. the whole night i'm he's trying to talk religion to me. he tells me about jesus and about the religious right and then subtley trying tries convince me of his position.
'abortion is just sick, i just can't stand it, that's just me. '
i tell him that i don't want to talk politics with him because I don't know him. He is quiet a little longer and then brings up something else that he liked about George Bush. I ignore him and play with the dog.
eddie always loses at things.
What would you do if your life you were invisible?
eddie's roommate talking about a Texas catheter. He says he would come on girl's faces if were invisible. He would give them white necklaces.
Death upon your family.
*****
Hasta la pasta. Furiously they slather.
Labels: stories
posted by wagner israel cilio iii @ 12:18 PM
4 Comments:
i did not say "fucker." but i would have if I'd thought of it.
I still want to know what they are slathering...and who "they" are.
kathy: i wish you wouldn't yell at me. it is simply not 'polite'. srzly.
just jessica: i don't know, my fictional self was high and could not make sense of anything. he kept saying that canadians probably say zed-bras instead of zebras. he cannot be bound to traditional sensible grammar. he is above this. thank you for the comment.
i have never yelled at you in my life. i am not starting now. srzly.
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