torley: god's dick

torley has done it again, that asian enigma!

you may remember a previous post about a certain 'torley' who wrote an article on how to care less over at lifehack.com. i benefited from it greatly and decided to become an internet blogger and eat cheetos in my bedroom by myself. torley's article gave me a kind of power which allowed me to rise above ordinary existence and be selective on what i choose to care about, such as animals and death.

torley's latest article covers the chasm of loneliness and misery. the article is called 'how to love yourself, even if no one else does.' suprisingly, torley denies the fact that no one loves you and says 'you are not looking hard enough'.

highlights from torley's article:

• others have cared about me before, and they will again. And perhaps most importantly, by realizing this, I care about myself.
  
• you are a burning building. If you could rush into yourself and save only a handful of things to take to a new you, what will they be?
• Find something new worth fighting for -- By “fight”, I refer not to violence....The “fight” here is versus adversity. Your cause may be a charity that improves others’ lives, or even a campaign to save a TV show...A couple examples from my experiences: when I felt snobs were scaring away novices from enjoying electronic music, I spoke up against them, serving as a pillar of light for new fans. I wrote reviews and guides, increasing techno music’s accessibility. The adulation felt awesome
• All of us are humans and subject to emotions. By consequence, all of us have problems — but some of us deal with them more effectively than others. We are all variations on a common theme.
• Be brave about what you really like--I used to get dirty faces when I opined how much I liked Britney Spears’ song, “Toxic“. I’m fond of the slick music video coupled with the angular strings and slammin’ beats. Britney’s voice wasn’t bad, either. I don’t approve of her recent lifestyle choices, but true to my heart, that song was a masterpiece!
• Here’s the problem: so many of us, even those who are no longer teens or in college, live under the specter of “peer pressure”. We’re afraid we “won’t fit in” if we speak to the contrary. And especially if we dig something that’s popular, we’ll be subjected to redundant reminders like “Just because it’s popular doesn’t mean it’s good”.
• Be a little more selfish - My wife once shared her meat story with me, which is a delicious, terse tale about feeding yourself, and being careful who you give your “meat” (yourself, essentially) to.
• Write a guide helping others--sharing experiences is valuable. If you have a blog, or even make a comment on someone else’s blog, you may help others. And they may let you know — I hope so!
• there’ve been times where I was sure everyone hated me, but then I realized (with increasing strength over the years) that this was just a temporal lie, my fallible emotions playing a nasty trick.

torley seems to have experienced loss and depression. torley is strong. torley knows things and when he tells them to people he can look at his feet and earnestly know he will be with jesus one day. torley likes being around positive people and if you are negative and hanging out with torley, torley will probably say something like 'dick off, assmilk!' and that would mean for you to stop being so negative around him. and his friends would all come up from behind him menacingly and one of them would put their hand on his shoulder. and then i would go and watch like, Becker or something and feel better. torley also loves meat. his wife says so. meat is good and torley is being brave about what he likes --meat.

thank you torley, you've set a fire under this blogger. i'm going to love of myself and look at porn now. thanks torley! this one's for you!