Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I interview myself

WAAGPAWLE: Who do you think you are?

WIC3: I am a young Romanian call boy in red shorts, an over-sized ADIDAS jacket, and unlaced AIR Jordan's collecting dirt into a plastic bottle on an overcast day squatted on the banks of a filthy Bucharest gutter.

WAAGPAWLE: You mentioned Bucharest: Do you have a special attachment to that city?

WIC3: No.

WAAGPAWLE: Have you been there?

WIC3: Yes.

WAAGPAWLE: Did you collect dirt there?

WIC3: Yes.

WAAGPAWLE: What is your name?

WIC3: Lorenzo Miguel Escobar de Guadalupe

WAAGPAWLE: Why does that matter?

WIC3: It matters for two reasons: it matters because i exist and am a human being, a self-contained molecular unit with the ability to manipulate from the formal system of language, strings of thought--their coherency being irrelevant--and since thoughts find roots in language and humans talk and think, post hoc ergo propter hoc, i am humanity. It also matters because I am a short story writer and therefore, in my thinking and my writing, i represent, with writing, this language and therefore, the self-referential paradox that is existence.

WAAGPAWLE: So you're an artist then?

WIC3: No, not even in the slightest. Being an artist implies some kind of intention and I have no intentions of any kind. When I write I don't try to say anything and I don't try to make people think. I write because its funny for me to look at words that I've written and to think how these little shapes and symbols somehow mirror shapeless amoebas of things I think about. Come to think of it, I do most things because they make me laugh. Even now, I can't help making faces at myself in the mirror of restrooms when no one is looking. I think that's funny and I try to get people to read these things I write so they can laugh at the silliness of language with me.

Art also implies commerce and everything I've ever made has been free. I've never sold anything in my life (not even myself, my resume is a joke). Richard and I used to have a lemonade stand when we were little and I used to just give out the lemonade. Richard didn't like that. I believe that with the advancement of technology and global communications, there is no room for "artists" anymore, much less for them to try and sell anything. And for someone to actively attempt to "teach" others in any form (and I mean that in the sense of trying to persuade, inform, or guide) toward some kind of truth when information to help you make up your own mind is so readily available is--aside from laughable and preposterous--completely naive and asinine.

WAAGPAWLE: What would be success for you?

WIC3: I think maybe just publishing something that I can really be proud of, something that I can read later and laugh at, and something that would make other people laugh with me because I like laughing with lots of people. And that's really what success would be: being a part of the greatest single collective human laugh. I think it might also be in gaining the respect of people I respect, which is a form of validation and I just spent so much time saying that I only write to make myself laugh but I think that my own laughter would be a little bit sweeter if I knew some people laughing with me, really laughing with me.

WAAGPAWLE: You mentioned "humanity" a few times. Do you like it?

WIC3: What, humans?


WIC3: I've said that I do and I've said that I don't. Today, yes. I do. I like humans. They're pretty cool, I think. I like writing stories for them.

WAAGPAWLE: What would make you stop writing?

WIC3: The invention of machines to connect two human minds together in unhindered telepathy

Wagner Israel Cilio III invented the genre “micro-novel” at the age of 22. He lives in Arkansas and likes soda.


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